Holidays and New Year's Resolutions vs. Real Change

Every January, the same pattern repeats itself. We make promises to ourselves—This is the year I’ll finally get it together. We set New Year’s resolutions with the best of intentions, yet by February, and honestly sometimes sooner, many of them fade away.

From a therapeutic perspective, real change begins with understanding, not motivation. Behaviors we want to change often serve a purpose, such as managing stress, avoiding discomfort, or feeling in control. Without addressing why a behavior exists, resolutions can quickly lead to frustration or self-criticism.

Resolutions are often vague and rigid, while therapeutic goals are more effective because they are specific and flexible, connected to personal values, focused on behaviors rather than identity, and rooted in self-compassion.

For example, instead of the resolution of “I’ll be less anxious,” a therapeutic goal might be, “I’ll practice grounding skills when anxiety shows up.”

Sustainable growth happens through small, consistent steps.

You don’t need a new version of yourself this year. You need curiosity, patience, and support.

Rather than asking what needs to be fixed, consider asking: “What do I want to understand about myself?”

Therapy can be a space to explore this process and support meaningful, lasting change.

Sasha Williams

LCSW, Clinical Intern Supervisor

Healing Grounds Wellness Center

healinggroundswc@gmail.com 

609-475-2560