Military Life and Finding the Right Community

Life as a military wife has not always been easy. It's something I'm grateful for because it means I get to be with the man I love, but I'd be lying if I said the lifestyle is easy. The long stretches apart I have spent from my husband, sometimes weeks, months, have pushed me to my limits in ways I never expected. Some days it feels like everything is being tested at once: my peace of mind, my faith, even the sense of WHO I AM. But through those moments, I've learned something invaluable: the community you choose to surround yourself with matters.

When I was younger, I thought I was ready for this life because I grew up in it.

As a military brat, I figured God had prepared me for the military life, with its constant change, new places, and new faces. But stepping into this lifestyle as a spouse is something entirely different. It's more personal, more emotional, and far more complicated than I expected.

It's not just the constant moving and starting over; you're also carrying the UNSEEN BURDENS that come with it:

• loneliness

• uncertainty

• worry

• The pressure to hold everything together, not just for yourself, but for your spouse and children as well

  
  

That's when you realize just how crucial the right community are—people who will steady you, not shake you, when life gets overwhelming.

Now that I'm a mother as well and have my own mother walking alongside me in this season, I see even more clearly why finding the right community is NON-NEGOTIABLE.

Life will bring challenges, some small, some life-changing. And for many of us, those challenges include breaking generational cycles and heavy patterns that have been passed down for years.

Breaking generational curses is not something you can do alone. It takes support. It takes safe spaces to be you. It takes people who don't just talk about faith and love, but live it and share it with you, living it alongside you.

Unfortunately, not every community is healthy. Over the years, I've learned that the wrong people can add to your anxieties instead of easing them. When you're already in SURVIVAL MODE, the last thing you need is to be surrounded by individuals who;

• Add to your anxieties

• Gossip and judge

• Drain you emotionally

  
  

Sometimes you find yourself with people who are quick to offer advice but slow to show genuine compassion, people who say all the right things but don't live them out. That can leave you feeling even more isolated, confused, and overwhelmed than if you were completely alone. However, remember that YOU ARE NOT ALONE in this struggle.

Real friendship, the kind where you can be your whole self, no holding back in fear of lash back, is rare, but NECESSARY. I've learned that genuine community isn't about how often you talk or how frequently you meet up. It's about

Shared values

Trust

Being authentic without fear of rejection

The right community will help you heal and build you up, not hurt. They'll remind you of who you are and encourage you to grow into the person YOU WANT TO BE, AND GOD CREATED YOU TO BE. For me, this meant having friends who would:

1. Listen without judgment

2. Offer practical help

3. Correct me when I was wrong

4. Pray for me when I felt lost

As a military family, we move a lot. Each new place brings new routines, new faces, and new chapters to write. In this latest chapter, my prayer remains: to find a community of people who live what they preach, who love authentically, and who help lighten the load, not add to it, when life gets heavy.

If you're in a season of transition or feeling stuck in unhealthy circles, know this:

You DON'T have to settle for relationships that drain you. Keep looking for the RIGHT people.

Because finding the RIGHT COMMUNITY doesn't just make life easier in the military; it helps you stand firm in your beliefs and grow into who you're meant to be in life.

Shaddai Riera

Administrative Coordinator

Healing Grounds Wellness Center

care@healinggroundswc.com

609-475-2560